At the beginning of this year, I was lucky enough to travel to Saudi Arabia and visit Makkah and Medina with my whole family for the first time. It was my first time ever traveling outside of the country, and I never in a million years thought that this year would be the year that I would be called by Allah to visit him. For the longest, my family and I have been struggling with money, and it seemed so far out of reach to think that one day I would be able to set foot in the haram and see the Kaaba looming over me.
The first time my mom even mentioned umrah, I immediately said yes, agreed that we should take the trip together as a family. I kept putting in the word that this could be my graduation gift, and I wouldn’t expect them to give me anything else. For a month, I was undergoing this conversation with my parents, persuading them that this would be the ideal time for the visit, especially after the harsh years that had gone by for us, the new presidency, so many things pitted against us. However, it never seemed to convince my parents. This was mainly because of the money and my plan for taking the MCAT that month. My parents always put education and career first, so knowing this would affect my timeline for medical school application, the answer was a no.
I knew if we didn’t go now as a family, another perfect time would never come, especially with my siblings and me all being in college, and not having started our big girl jobs, and none of us married. And more specifically for me, graduating from college, being as lost as ever, I truly needed this trip to Mecca. I wanted to revive that spiritual connection with Allah again, and I was hoping that Umrah would be the answer. So, to my surprise, on a random weekday after coming back from my class, my mom confirmed the flight, and we officially went to Umrah in January 2025.
Coming from Chicago winter to Saudi Arabia, I immediately felt the shift in temperature and a type of heat that I’m not normally used to. The air felt dense with heat, and fine grit filled the air. My first interaction with someone was a taxi driver who offered to drive us from Jeddah to Mecca. None of us spoke Arabic, but the taxi driver also didn’t speak much English. We passed the phone to each other, which had Google Translate pulled up.
“Alhamdulillah, I was born in Medina. Once you all go there, you will never want to go back. The people are much kinder, and there’s a gentle warmth to the place. But there’s nothing like Mecca, the atmosphere, the people, everyone there for the same thing.”
When we arrived at the hotel, it was 4 pm, still bright and very lively. Our hotel was a bit farther from the haram but close enough to feel a sense of belonging with all the strangers that brought us together, a shared belief. To say I was excited was an understatement. We first decided to explore the area and found a beautiful mosque right outside our hotel. Qatari masjid. Such a beautiful mosque, breathtaking architecture, nothing like the ones I’ve seen in the States.
After exploring, we finally decided to do the umrah around 11 pm, so the Arabian heat wouldn’t bother us too much. If I thought the city looked gorgeous in the morning, at night it was a different story. The cool air and gentle breeze made everything more enjoyable. The dark sky and the numerous lights, toned out voices everywhere. To my surprise, the place was packed as ever, even at night. I was hoping there would be a few people so that umrah wouldn’t feel as hard.
As of right now, it was only my parents and I who were completing our umrah because my two siblings had fallen sick and stayed back at the hotel. So the three of us finally stepped into the haram, anticipation making us nervous and excited at the same time. My whole life, I’ve always seen the black Kaaba as a uniter of Islam. Not something we worship, but it gives us a direction and brings millions of people together, from all backgrounds and cultures, to submit to our creator. To think I will see it with my very own eyes seems so surreal. The eagerness only built up until the moment I raised my eyes from the white marble flooring and saw the Kaaba for the first time. It wasn’t as large, honestly, simple and small, but the significance and history behind the Kaaba made it feel like it was towering in presence. My whole focus was on it, and I was overwhelmed with emotions about my religion. Instantly, I started crying, tears were streaming down, and I didn't even know why. I didn’t know what I felt, happy, sad, awe, ashamed - the emotions hit me all at the same time.
Everyone here is all dressed in simple clothing. All the men were clad in white, with nothing to distinguish their status. All the women are covered in garments covering nothing but their faces and hands. We are nothing but the same in front of Allah’s eyes. No one is better and no one is beneath one another. Hundreds of people were going in circles around the Kaaba to complete our tawaf. I made my dua and started to step into the physically overwhelming crowd to start my umrah.
Three and a half hours later, I finished my Umrah and finally had a moment to sit and reflect. I thought about my relationship with my faith, one I’ve often neglected, even now. I realized that for much of my life, my connection to Islam was shaped by fear. So much of what I was taught came through the lens of fear, and I think that’s what created distance between me and my faith. But this experience made me want to rebuild that connection, not through fear this time, but through something deeper and more genuine.
This is so beautifully written🥲💗 May Allah grant us all this experience
Best experience ever🥹