wanting someone I never had

emotional whirlpool towards a person I didn’t have

A few days after seeing him, I decided to look up his name, I was curious to know what he was up to. Did he miss me? Was I on his mind like he is constantly on mine?

Then I saw her. There was a girl, and it wasn’t me. Who is she? I was not expecting that. Why didn’t he mention seeing someone? She’s so pretty . We talked so much, and he never thought to say anything about it. I mean, I wasn’t dating him, but I thought I was important enough to know this.

I feel like I got played.

Well, i’m exaggerating , we were just friends anyway, even though I genuinely liked him. He was kind and respectful, similar interests and goals as me, funny and cute. I thought he would at least be into me. I guess I was awfully wrong.

Did I misinterpret the signals?

I feel like a fool.

He was just being friendly. I can’t believe I did not read him correctly.

Why am I so caught up in someone who probably never saw me as more than friends? I hate that I put myself in this situation.

I’m so hurt, but there was nothing romantic about our relationship, it was as platonic as it can be. But I wanted him . He felt different than the others maybe because there was nothing sexual about our relationship and it felt like he liked me for me . Maybe it was the hopeless romantic in me that wanted an organic relationship sprouting from a friendship. Maybe I didn’t even like him .

But I really did .

I know I’ll get over it in a few months but damn it really does hurt for now. Why didn’t he want me? Is there something wrong with me?

I need to stop misreading people .